Congratulations. You made it to your high school graduation. Did you hear about the teens attacking each other in Chicago last week? St Louis? Atlanta? No? I bet you did hear about the shootings at the Kansas City Chiefs parade in February.

We have an epidemic of teen violence.

The root of the problem comes from lonely confused young men looking for something to fill the emotional void created by parental neglect. The unspoken message many children are getting is they are not wanted nor valued by their parents.

Their self-worth now comes from their peers — gang members or other similar kids who are also left alone. Lost, depressed teenagers living day to day heading down a spiral that often leads to life on the street or jail.

The violence is a symptom of their life situation. All the noble calls to “Stop the violence” fail because we have to fix the cultural problems that are resulting in lost teenagers who do not respect life or property because they do not respect themselves.

Barry Kaufman of Scientific American explains “Self-esteem starts to develop around the age of 7. At this age, children draw heavily on social comparisons with others and start to evaluate themselves along the lines of “I am a loser”, “I am worthy”, or “I am special”. Children come to view themselves as they perceive they are seen by others.”

Self Esteem is typically lowest during early teenage years. It’s a vital time for positive parents, grandparents and extended family to make a difference.

Kauffman continues “High self-esteem develops in tandem with parental warmth. Parents who raise children who exhibit high levels of self-esteem tend to treat their children with affection, appreciation, and fondness. They treat their children as though they matter. Eventually, this parenting practice leads to the child internalizing the message that they are worthy individuals, a core aspect of healthy self-esteem.”

We have an epidemic of teen violence that is caused by a mental health crisis.

Children need both parents involved in their lives. Kids need more family gatherings. More family photos will result in less mugshots. They need more family dinners sitting around a table with mom and dad both present and listening. Family time around the kitchen table with no phones or electronics. They need parents going to their kids’ events instead of going to the river boat.

The government should do something! Yes they should. Government welfare subsidizing and encouraging single parent homes should be stopped. This one government practice has been most destructive to our American Culture of strong families. Broken children are the consequence and it has now become a generational problem. St Louis leads our state with 54% of homes with single parents. Kansas City comes in at 36%. At one time, this was just an issue in the urban cores, but no more. Many rural Missouri counties are now reporting 25-30% single parent households.

The consequence of ignored children being raised by gangs and Tik Tok, is innocent folks being caught in the crossfire of troubled teens growing up without a father.

We need more role models like Shaquille O’Neal and LeBron James who openly express love for their sons. PDA is a good thing.

Children need to hear the positive message of opportunity in America. They need to learn at a young age that with hard work, skill and perseverance they can break out of poverty and live a comfortable life. They need to know that the American Dream is alive and well. If they work smart and control the urge to spend more than they make… Dave Ramsey explains it best; “the majority of American millionaires – 79% — did not receive an inheritance from parents or other family members. Instead, they achieved millionaire status through hard work and smart financial choices.”

That 7 -10 year old child you know needs to hear these words; “In America you will have the opportunity to be successful and have a great life.” They need sincere praise, respect and tell them that you love them.

We can stop the violence by raising mentally healthy children.